This post is long overdue and there is so much more that has happened since the retreat in Nashville, which I will add in future posts.
It has been about 1 year since I had the opportunity to join a womens mastermind group-Gobundance Women. It was initially presented to me as an opportunity to get in on the ground floor and be a part of the building process, a voice in what it would be all about. The man (oddly enough) that was spearheading and supporting the start up was a friend and past colleague of mine, as well somebody that has a track record of success, great relationships, top level group facilitator and was also a member of the mens Gobundance tribe. I couldn’t attend the first retreat that brought the initial group of women together to form ideas on what they wanted the group to be about and operate, but I did get involved shortly after via a smaller group (pod) within the larger group for a few months leading up to the first official retreat in Nashville.
When initially presented the idea to join, there was excitement and hesitation. I felt that I needed to join this group but I was unsure that I could add more to my plate. I was working on traveling less and this would mean at least one more if not 2 more trips per year. There was also some odd hesitation about joining a group of women that I didn’t know and at the same time it was relieving to be around women without expectation or judgement. I have also had this gut feeling coupled with some feedback I was getting from coaching that my husband and I were doing, telling me that I need to open up to my feminine energy much more. After meeting many of the other women in the group, I felt I wasn’t alone in this desire. At the same time I met women in the group that were currently leading more with their feminine energy vs masculine. Which as I am learning or re-learning the feminine energy is so much more powerful:)
For as long as I can remember I have typically been able to do whatever a man could do. That was how I fit in and had so many guy friends growing up. From playing foosball, to pool, to darts, to ultimate (I know that’s not a guy sport but back then not many women could chuck or catch a frisbee). I also, have never felt held back in anyway due to my gender with my colleagues or executives at the company I work with. However, there are no other women that I could or can learn from/be mentored by, that are above me in my organization. So I think I had fallen into not only using my masculine energy at work more but was starting to blur the lines at home. I don’t just think, I know=)
I also have a tendency to jump into personal growth events regardless of the cost, I believe that growing myself is always an investment worth making. For many years I have been in situations where I am either the only one or one of the few women at a business meeting/event. I rarely feel excluded, they have done a great job of making me feel that I deserve to be there. I also have a long history of attending and joining different personal and professional development groups. I have worked on my mental chatter and stories the have arisen over the years. Chatter that has come up in the past – who are you to be the expert, someone else is better at that than you, what will people think, do I really know what I am talking about, I am only good at getting the job done, I don’t excel in one specific area (I don’t have a superpower) and more. This is where the first feeling of “WTF is going on with me” started.
We were doing some exercises to get to know each other better, share a bit about ourselves. We were asked to jot down what our super power was. I couldn’t identify a super power. I felt that there were many things I did well but nothing that stood out as a super power. I was paired up with a great women, full of life and welcoming. She knew her superpower. I tried to let it go and move to the next exercise. The next day the nagging voice of ‘why can’t I identify with my superpower’ was still there. I have since learned there is a name for what I was experiencing, it’s called imposter syndrome (https://youtu.be/ZQUxL4Jm1Lo) Almost like, if people really get to know you they will see I am not as good as I say I am. It took a wisdom circle – where I got feedback from 3 other ladies on this exact topic and seeing the look on one the ladies face (when I said I am not sure what I am really good at) – of ‘you have got to be kidding’, to another lady, telling me she loved my energy, for me to slowly step back into the space of my own confidence. I still hadn’t confirmed the superpower but was determined to figure that out.
By the end of the 3 day event, I had built new friendships, danced, sang, cried, hugged, had new visions of the future, learned great insight for building our business, knew I wasn’t alone and saw the beauty of women coming together to lift one another up. In summary I felt a great Connection to a wonderful new Community. A Community I believe I can learn from and grow with.
Oh ya and their were some really epic experiences for us at the retreat. Private country music concert on a hotel rooftop (with 5 country star musicians), Private residence intimate singer songwriter concert for us and top of the line guest speakers, Jeff Hoffman, David Osborne and Cody Sanchez.
The tribe is continuing to add women to group. If you or someone you know is interested in joining check out our website for more information, http://www.gobundancewomen.com.